Being A Winner
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It hurts us to see our child feel badly about losing a competition (whether it’s running for election, a sports game or even a family board game). Still, competition is a part of life and to shield kids from this can create other problems since comparisons are inevitable in social settings, academic setting and in the sports arena.
As a child, I remember my grandfather taught me how to play blackjack and I happily enjoyed winning against him for a few weeks in a row. Then he taught my sister how to play. I watched him play her and saw that he was actually throwing out his winning cards! I realized he had been doing that with me as well and I really became upset and angry. I would advise you to help your child build his or her confidence, but you don’t want to let him win each and every game or build in too many extra advantages in order to protect him or her.
Something that is helpful with kids is to offer them some extra practice. If you child does poorly on a spelling test, make it a fun game to work on spelling while you drive. If he or she doesn’t do well at a baseball game, set up a time to work a bit on hitting and catching. Also compliment your child on his or her effort as well as on the way he interacted with team members and his cooperative spirit. Bring in a quote or two about an athlete that succeeded after much effort so your child doesn’t stay discouraged. Reading autobiographies and stories about famous people who overcame adversity is very moving to kids and helps to improve motivation.
You can also do some fun cooperative activities with your child at other times during the week such as cooking a meal together, working on an arts or crafts project or doing some gardening. A child gets a lot of pleasure from creating something and it’s nice to have parts of the week for those types of activities as well that don’t have to do with being the best. Kids can learn that being a winner has more to do with attitude than anything else.
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