Not a Natural Phenomenon

Parents may not question their own parenting style until problems begin to creep up with their children, and the current parenting style may suddenly seem ineffective and of no practical use leaving the parent at a loss to explain why it is so. Of course, good parenting is not a natural phenomenon and it is also not always easy to be a good parent. Having said that, it is clear that parents need certain skills if they are to effectively meet parenting challenges, and may thus require finding a sound and practical parenting style for which the parent needs to spare time to train and put into practice.

Though parent education is not required, it is still readily available and necessary as society begins to realize the potential of good parenting. It is certainly a challenge to acquire the proper parenting styles, especially those that inculcate respect as well as are result oriented. Though there are many parenting styles, they all can be categorized in three ways and most parents will have one primary parenting style along with elements of the other styles.

Parenting styles include authoritarian, permissive, as well as a respectful, democratic style. Authoritarian parenting style is one in which parents feel the need to control the children all of the time, and rules are set that must be followed, giving children little or no freedom.

The permissive style is one in which parents fear that their children will not like them if they set limits. Such a style will make the children lack a sense of responsibility and experience trouble with relationships, and think the world is a difficult place to exist in. This is not a very wise course of action as children do not desire or deserve to have freedom without limitations.

Another parenting style is one in which parents take a respectful and democratic style of functioning and treats both parents and children as equals in terms of value. This giving of choices helps to balance freedom with responsibility and teaches children from an early age to learn what the consequences of their choices will result in. It has the effect of making children more co-operative and parents are able to discipline their children without the need of a reward and punishment system.

Attachment parenting refers to a way of caring for infants which aims to provide the best for the baby as well as the parent. Early bonding between baby and parent leads to early attachment, as the weeks and months immediately following birth are a sensitive time when the parent naturally wishes to be close to the baby.

Once a close attachment is formed after birth, a natural and biological attachment promotes the behavior of the infant as well as the intuitive and biological caregiving qualities of the parent. They come together and result in lifelong bonding between parent and child.

A Few Aspects of Attachment Parenting

Another aspect of attachment parenting is breastfeeding; this helps the mother take cues from the baby and be able to recognize its body language, which is a prelude to getting to know the baby better. Breast milk is full of unique brain-building nutrients for which no man-made substitutes are available, and breastfeeding leads to better chemistry between mother and baby.

Attachment parenting also involves holding the baby in your arms which often leads to less fuss on the part of the infant as the baby stays in a state of quiet alertness. This is conducive to its learning more about the environment in which it lives. Babywearing causes the sensibility of the mother to improve and due to the fact that the baby is close to the mother, it helps in forming a better understanding as well as more familiarity with the infant.

At night, it is recommended to get the sleeping arrangement sorted out because co-sleeping promotes attachment parenting as well adds a nighttime touch that enables the mother to reconnect with the infant at night. Also, the baby is most scared at night and sleeping close to it within nursing distance greatly reduces nighttime separation anxiety and promotes restful sleep for the infant and also keeps the infant in a fearless state.

Responding with a great deal of sensitivity to the baby’s cry helps build trust and calms and reassures the baby that the mother is responsive to its needs. It tells the baby and the parents that slowly but surely, they will also come to learn to trust in their own ability to adequately meet their new found needs. With more parent-child communication, attachment parenting becomes more effective, especially as studies show that little babies cry to communicate, and not to manipulate.

Attachment parenting also teaches the mother to be discerning of the advice, especially those that are rigid as well as examples of extreme parenting styles. Such behavior is closer to convenience parenting and may cause short term gains, but in the long run, is more of a loss and not a wise investment to make. Finally, attachment parenting does not mean that the parent neglects his or her own needs as well as that of the marriage. A balance needs to be struck and it is essential for the parent to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ to the child as well as being wise enough to say ‘yes’ to oneself, when in need of help.