The Federal Government and all legitimate governments around thew world are now recognizing the increasing and growing trend of single parenting.

Single parents, as you might have noticed, are everywhere. The lady sitting beside you in the bus ride home or the sales lady attending to your needs in the grocery might probably be among those single moms that are struggling hard to make both ends meet and raise their child or children single handedly.

Governments are mandated and are expected to care for and give protection to their constituents. Governments do protect their people, and that protection given should never be discriminative.

Thus, single parents should be given equal rights as those who are normal parents or those single individuals.

That is why governments from around the world are following the United States government model for compensating or providing financial assistance to single parents.

The government program that supports or gives financial aid to children and single parents are being adopted and closely watched by all governments all over the world now.

It is always assumed that since single parents take the sole responsibilities of single parenting in raising children, they are financially crunched and striving. The times are really hard nowadays, and earning to raise children can get really tough especially since the society is not so kind to single parents.

Financial assistance given to single parents

In the United States, financial support or assistance to single parents. The government effort is really a major feat. However, not all single parents are fully fitted and eligible for the program.

To be able to attain or receive financial support or aid from the government, single parents should be found positive of fit for the following requirements.

Children of single parents will be subsidized or given financial assistance by the government until they reach 18 years. However, the child’s situation is subject to thorough probing.

First, the single parent must be first and foremost divorced. Another case for eligibility for financial assistance is when the other significant parent is already dead, or is seriously injured, handicapped or disabled.

It is assumed that during those cases, parent support to the child is almost too impossible and hopeless. Thus, the government intervene and provides the financial parenting or providing role.

Another case for eligibility for single parenthood financial assistance is when the other parent has abandoned the child for about or more than a year already. It is because during the span can it be rightly asserted and assumed that there exists abandonment.

Imprisonment of the other parent can also be grounds or causes for financial support. Or if the child has been born while the parents are not legally tied or married, in other words, the child is born obviously and apparently out of wedlock.

Another desperate case is when the other parent is not identified, which is a case rapidly rising nowadays.

Children and single parents with the following situations, take note, are not eligible for filing or seeking financial assistance or support from the government.

? The child is a rightful heir for any property or pension due to the single parent or both parents.

? The single parent receives or attains additional disability pension funds either because of his disability or because he has children.

? The child is under the custody of foster parents or he or she is under the custody of a daycare center.

? If the child is currently raised and supported by the single parent’s domestic or current partner. Partners bounded by common-law marriages are covered by this provision.

? The single parent is also eligible to receive or be granted public pension benefits.

Thus, filing for financial assistance or support among single parents would not be that easy. Be reminded that such stringent requirements are established to avoid fraud and anomalous activities by bad people who will take on or abuse single parenthood to illegally attain benefits and funds.

Times have really changed since those days when single parents were treated as outcasts of the society. Previously, especially during those times and era when values and morals were strictly imposed within societies, single parents were treated as if their situations were some sort of punishment to them.

Single parenthood is not unique to the average white men and women in the United States. It can be noted that the black race or the so-called African Americans in the country are also subject to the issue and concerns regarding single parenthood.

Thus, the number of black males who are also single parents in the country and also in other nations are currently the same and equal to the number of white males who are single parents.

The borders and difference separating the black race from the white have really disappeared and melted that issue previously concerning whites are now also issues hounding the blacks.

Thus black male single parents are now living on an era when single parents are treated with much respect and dignity than the way they were treated by he previous generations.

Black males and the single parenting

Single parenting is also not unique to the average black males. The US Census of 2002 estimates that three in every ten children in the United States are raised by single parents. What is so vague about the statistics is that the demographics were not clearly defined, meaning the actual number of black males who are also single parents are not really identified or set out.

It is assumed, however, that the number of single parents who are incidentally also black males rise along with those of white males, or of female counterparts.

It can be noted, however, that the modern society is knowledgeable and informed about safe sex and contraceptives. But, there are instances when contraceptives don not really work as intended, and so the number of unwanted pregnancies and unwanted birth of children are rapidly rising.

Black males who are also single parents do experience the same experiences and issues being reported and experienced by other single parents around the world.

Black males who are also single parents are also now equally privileged as their other counterparts. They are also qualified for compensations and financial assistance and support from the federal government.

Articles about single parents and black males

There are a number of literature or writings that tackle the issue of single parenting particularly and specifically for the black males. It is assumed that male single parenting is very hard because males, in general, are not domesticated.

The traditional and conventional norms of the society have it that males are not really completely coping up with the challenges of single parenthood. Psychologists do assert that male single parents are far worse compared to their female counterparts, because females are more emotionally stabled to cope with the single parenthood situation.

Here are some of the recommended reading digests that black males who are also single parents could read. The following articles are so timely and will surely be helpful to the black males who are also single parents.

The articles are accessible online, for everyone to read them. Read on.

” Black Men: the Crisis Continues” by Slaim Muwakkil. The article came out and was published in one of the modern magazines. The article touches on the political issues hounding the black population, particularly the black males.

‘The Blak Family: 40 Years of Lies” by Kay S. Hymowitz. The magazine article discusses the social implications of single parenting among black males and in the general the whole black race.

“Parent Trapped: Dating for Single Parents” is an article available online that tackles the issue of single parents finally moving on with life to experience dating once again. Issues bugging black males regarding single parenting are discussed.

Single parenthood is commonly brought about by three things: divorce, death of the spouse or teenage pregnancy. Cohabitation outside a matrimonial set-up is common but it changes not so much the real parental status as the statistics behind it.

The number of single parent families has doubled in the last two decades. US census estimates that 59 percent of children in America will live with a single parent at least once. There are about 12 million single parents in the United States. About 20 million or 28 percent of children under 18 live with a single parent. 84 percent of those who live with one parent live with their mother.

Families which are headed by women are more vulnerable. Women’s social position is still relatively weaker than that of men. Single mothers have to cope with existing gender-based limitations for gainful employment vis-

Single parenting is defined as a parent (whether the wife, or the husband) doing the role of maintaining the nuclear family, as a result of death, divorce, separation, or personal choice.

This type of parenting is an additional arm of the traditional nuclear and extended family types that we have learned since childhood. Nuclear families consist of two parents, and children who are living in the same house.

Extended families, on the other hand, consists of two parents, children and aunts, uncles or grandparents living in the same house. Since the 80′s, the number of single parent families in the US have doubled.

The top three causes of single parenting are: death of a spouse, divorce and personal choice (unwed teenage mothers, choice of raising a family without a partner, etc). These causes have a significant effect on the family’s way of life, and require major adjustments to the entire family emotionally. Feelings of resentment, guilt and despair are typical of the spouse who is left behind.

Grief is the most often feeling felt by the individual left behind. This can lead to depression, losing control of one’s own life. More adverse effects of grief leads to drug and alcohol addiction, and even death.

Studies have defined the 5 Steps of Grief:

1) Denial – This stage comprises of feelings of guilt and denial. The feeling of “he is just away, and will come back” are the usual reactions to this stage.

2) Anger – This stage comprises of extreme anger towards the person who left or died.

3) Bargaining – This stage comprises of negotiating with God, if the partner has died, or negotiating with the partner regarding changing what went wrong in the relationship.

4) Depression – This stage comprises of the near-realization that the situation will not change. This is where the acknowledgement of what happened starts.

5) Acceptance – This stage is the acknowledgement and acceptance of the grief, and letting go of the feelings of despair.

The effects of single parenting are usually felt not just by the spouse left behind, but to the entire family as well, particularly children. Studies have shown that children have felt betrayed, taken advantaged of, and felt inadequate as a result of parent separations.

To combat the grief brought about by single parenting, the following tips have been suggested:

1) Accepting responsibilities – Being a single parent means maximizing all resources to take care of the family. This means looking for all possible, even creative solutions to solve a problem. One should not spend time blaming others for what happened, but instead, look for ways in addressing the problem.

An example is looking for alternative ways to find transportation for a child’s first day of school. Instead of screaming and whining, the parent should look for alternatives – looking for relatives who can drop off the child or working around the parent’s schedule to drop off the child to school.

2) Family as the first choice – Successful single parent families have made their family as the top priority. These means determining non-negotiables and balancing commitments. Single parents usually forego career changing decisions for the family.

3) Communication – The parent and the child need to establish open communication between the two of them, to know what the wants and needs of each other, and to fulfill these wants and needs. Communication is the key to an open relationship. Clear communication channels foster an open relationship between the parent and the child.

4) Taking care of yourself – If the parent does not take control of his/her life, he cannot take control of his/her child’s life. One should take care of himself/herself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Taking care of onself ensures a positive environment of hope and love in the family.

5) Establish routine – Routines before the divorce or death should be kept, because this is the child’s only anchor that things have not drastically changed. Walks on the park, reading bed times stories, or the usual Christmas dinner should be continued even after the death or divorce.

Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.

However, if truth be told, none of the above will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more stressed. And when you end up being more stressed than ever, chances are this will reflect and magnify on your child.

If you are a single parent, ask yourself. How does your behavior and general outlook toward life affect your kid? Upon closer scrutiny, you might just find out that your child’s constant tantrums and bouts of unexplained anger might just be the result of your continuing negativity. It is for these reasons that you should be careful.

Several studies show that children coming from single-parent households are more susceptible to destructive or rebellious behavior, not just because society imposes the need for a two-parent structure, but also, more often than not, the custodial parent is either too guilty that he or she smothers his child, or too busy to make ends meet to show how much he or she cares.

According to one study, about 90% of the change in crime rates between 1973 and 1995 had been accounted for by children born into single-family setups and those that had been born outside of marriage.

While this is not entirely true for all cases of that cover single parent households, we cannot discount the fact that majority of reports conducted in lieu of single parenthood and crime rates show that they are, indeed, linked.

Children born into two-parent, or ‘intact’ homes, are also susceptible to committing crime, so it would be impulsive to generalize that all kids under one-parent households are likely to become criminals.

Sure, two-parent settings place some sort of balance to a child’s psychological well-being. However, it should also not be discounted that kids who grew up under an unhappy but intact home are also prone to some form of destructive behavior.

If you are a single parent, the best thing you can do to prevent this from happening is to be there for your child. You don’t really need to be available 24-7 and spend so much just to show him or her that you care. The mere fact that you make it clear, in the occasions that you can, that your child’s well-being is your utmost priority is enough.

Never forget to tell your child that you love him or her. Do away with discussing the negative, especially if it’s against the other parent, no matter how distressed you are with him or her.

If you are having trouble reaching out to your kid, particularly if you’re realizing this need just now and your child is already a teen, seek counselling. Or have a one on one talk with your child so that both of you will understand each others feelings openly. Honesty is key in a single parent setting. If both parent and child are honest about what they think and feel, the less likely a rebellion would occur.

While you do feel somehow guilty for being a single parent (you may sometimes even think it’s your fault that your kid is exhibiting rebellious behavior), you should immediately try to take it out of your system. Guilt will only magnify the ill effects on your child and might even push him or her further into ill behavior.

Simply put, a positive attitude will do wonders. A happy household, whether in a two-parent or single parent setting, is still a happy household. And this is all that is going to matter.

Financial struggles is one of the negative effects of single parenting. This, however, can be solve by finding a job that can support both you and child. Single parents can also find a job within their local community that may afford them to sustain the needs of their children.

Single Parents should also learn to cut the cost of their daily expenses such as food, transportation, personal cost and child cost. Single parents should learn how to save their time and energy because they are playing two roles for their children.

Cost cutting of food expenses like shopping food once a week with a list in your hand to lessen impulse buying. Shopping food alone at discounted grocery stores than in convenient stores with high prices may help you save some bucks too. Also, plan your meals for one week. As much as possible, use your electrical appliances efficiently.

Your personal and child cost can be cut by exchanging or sharing your services with friends like babysitting, window washing and gardening. You can also barter your talents like typing, sewing and painting. You can also trim your child’s hair by your own.

One of the negative effects of single parenting is isolation. You can overcome this by getting support from your family, relatives and friends and even social groups in your community. Try to mingle and participate in your church activities and activities held by your community.

The lack of support, another negative effects of single parenting, can be remedied by establishing a connection and communication to the people around you. Communication is important for every single parent to make others understand their situation and gain support from them.

Emotional distress, also one of the negative effects of single parenting, can be conquered by letting yourself go on an emotion process aided by a professional. This emotional process is management of emotion from denial, anger, depression, bargaining and until you reach acceptance.

What are the effects of single parenting to children?

Not only adults suffer the negative effects of single parenting. In fact, children are the most affected by it. Children being raised with this type of parenting are in high risk of experiencing behavioral and emotional distress due to stress.

They may also have a hard time to adjust to their present situation a divorce or death of one of their parents. Children sometimes become confused, lonely, fearful, sad and angry.

There’s a solution to the negative effects of single parenting. If single parents will only have an open mind, they will understand that children needs proper care and enough love to understand and fight the negative effects of single parenting.

How to reduce the negative effects of single parenting?

Healing your child from the negative effects of single parenting may be started by engaging your child into different activities that they love. Sports are good examples of activities that can help single parents and their children forget the hardships or traumatic experiences that they have gone through.

For married couples who are planning for a divorce, let your child know what’s really happening with your relationship. Talk to your child and assure them that they are not the reason for the divorce.

To reduce the negative effects of single parenting, single parents must talk to their children. Always. Let them express their feeling about the divorce, about the moving, and changing of schools. Let your children know that whatever happens to the marriage, you still love them. Parents, as much as possible, must settle their difference amicably so that their children can adapt easily to the situation and to lessen the tension on their part.

Children need security, a loving, nurturing and healthy environment for better emotional growth and psychological development. Whatever kind of family you have, children will grow up to be fine men or women even if they are a product of single parenting. It’s up to the single parent how they will raise their child into a loving and respectful person.

The person dating a recently single parent needs to be open and understanding as well. The person needs to understand that there are responsibilities involved, such as defensive feelings from children, as well as comparisons between the new person and the old spouse.

Dating is a combined feeling of excitement, nervousness and anticipation. Added to meeting a single parent’s children double these combined feelings for both you and your partner. The question is, what are the “nice to knows” in dating and meeting single parent’s children?

On Dating

1) Make sure that the previous relationship has no more to do’s- Studies have shown that the feeling of being treated as a “rebound” is common when dating a single parent. This is because these newly single parents look for partners as soon as possible, to replace the feeling that they had with their own partners. Being the date, a person needs to make sure that there are no more strings to be addressed in the previous relationship of the single parent.

2) Make sure to complement your date of his looks – Newly single parents invest on their looks to be able to boost their confidence. They enhance their looks by coloring their hair, trying on new make-up, experimenting on different scents or losing excessive pounds to prepare themselves on being available in the market again. Complimenting them on how they look will definitely boost their confidence and make your date more open to feedback.

3) Manage expectations that you are different from the previous one- Comparisons are the main reasons for fights between a new single parent and his/her respective date. A newly single parent can either look for a date who has similar characteristics, or look for a date that is entirely different from his previous relationship. New dates need to make sure that he/she is different from the previous one.

4) Maintain a non-sexual relationship with your date at the early stages of the relationship. Be open to the fact that your relationship can either work or not work. Having a sexual relationship may complicate things, most especially if your date has a child.

On Meeting a Single Parent’s Children

1) Understand that there are established routines already – When a single parents lets you meet his/her children for the first time, make sure to understand that there are routines already, and the children see you as a threat to these routines. Just make sure to let them feel that you will not do anything to their routine.

An example is the weekly breakfast routine. When your partner brings you for this routine for the first time, the children will see you as a distraction who will soon take away their weekly routine.

2) Delay the sleep-over- Children today are different in the way they think. Sleeping over connotes sexual relations, even if there is none between the two of you. Try postponing the sleep-overs when you feel that the children have accepted you already.

3) Encourage your partner to separate dating and parent time – Ask your partner to separate dating and parent time. This will not compromise both of your feelings and avoid unnecessary tension.

4) Be open to the fact that you will be introduced when your relationship has long-term potential. -Newly single parents will introduce you to their family if they see that what you have can escalate to a long-term commitment. If you are not yet introduced to his family, give it time.

These are just simple tips to help you out in the phenomenon of dating and meeting a single parent’s children. These tips can go a long way in maintaining a possible relationship between you and your partner.

How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.

Conflicting studies have shown that there are positive and negative effects of single parenting. Some studies show that children who have been exposed to single parenting have lower self-esteem that that of shared parenting.

On the other hand, some studies show that single or shared parenting does not have any effect on the growth or well-being of a parent. How a parent deals with a child, and oneself can mold the dynamics of the family, which can lead to the emotional well-being of both the parent and the child.

If the single parent relationship between the parent and child is carefully managed, the following positive outcomes may be felt within the family:

1) Gradual lessening of tension- Prior to being a single parent, feelings of tension are present and are felt by the parents and children.

Oftentimes, the feelings of the child are not felt by both parents. When the situation is explained to the child, this can lead to a feeling of understanding on why the separation happened.

This understanding can help the child cope with the current situation, and thus gradually release tension towards the child’s parents, and to other people as well.

2) More time with each other- Tension felt during the discussions on separation and divorce lead to neglecting children. Screaming matches, and not speaking to each other are common feelings felt by children and the parent.

The effect of being a single parent thus gives more time to address the needs of children, and open communication channels between the two. Planning vacations, and bonding sessions with each other can be a result of this. More time would lead to a more relaxed family atmosphere.

3) Re-establishing ties with the community- Children and parents can work together, and can even establish relationships with the community because of this effect of single parenting.

Single parents can ask help from their neighbors regarding the care of their children, such as baby-sitting or helping out with household chores. This often leads to a positive feeling of involvement on both the parent and the child, and the neighborhood as well.

4) Out of the box experience to the child- Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can broaden his/her experiences pertaining to life. The child is more sensitive and aware to what goes around his/her life, and can feel that the world does not revolve around him.

5) A sense of accomplishment – When a child is designated with small responsibilities, a sense of accomplishment usually is felt. Since additional responsibilities have been added, a feeling of openness is added to the sense of accomplishment felt. This is because a feat has been done to help out in the household. This makes the child feel that he/she is an important member of the household.

6) Prioritizing to lead to work and life balance – Single parents need to learn the value of prioritizing. Sometimes, new tasks are needed to be able to look for new types of jobs to support the family.

Schedules, school and financial obligations need to be prioritized to be able to maintain work and life balance. Attaining work life balance is a continuous challenge to the parent, due to additional responsibilities of managing a family.

7) Active role in decision making – Children can play an active role in the decision making of single parents. Single parents need additional minds to think most especially in making major decisions.

If you have been avoiding some singles activities because you call them ‘meat markets’, you might want to consider going with your own plan. You can take along your own close-knit group. You can go out and just practice flirting. Or you can enjoy an evening’s worth of superficial meetings at a bar.

In short, when you have follow your own agenda, you can always enjoy mingling with other singles whether or not you meet someone special.

Singles Activities

Almost every community has a singles scene. Whether you live in small town or a metropolis, you’re likely to find activities for singles at churches. You don’t really need to have any kind of strong religious convictions, as most of their activities are organized around nonreligious events.

Groups likes YMHA, YMCA and YWCA also have programs for singles. You are also likely to meet people like you in professional organizations, or writing group, or a theatre company. To simplify things, singles, or even single parents, are everywhere. You just have to know where and how to look for them.

Here are some alternative ways to find the singles scene in your community:

- Check local newspapers and magazines for listings of singles organizations and groups. There is no rule against joining groups just to meet other people, so go ahead and sign up for something that interests you.

- Try some singles bars or nightclubs. If you’re a bit courageous, you can go alone. But for starters, you might want to go in a group.

- Do things you’ve never done before. Develop new interests and venture into novel activities. Who knows, you might be able to meet someone interesting at the oddest of places.

To find out about groups in your area that share your interest, check the listings in your local papers. Sundays and Fridays are usually packed with information about singles events.

The larger the city, the easier it will be for your to find local resources. But wherever you are, you are likely to find clubs and organizations that are meant for people of wide-ranging interests. There are gourmet coulbs for singles, supermarkets for singles, lectures and discussions centered on singles… the possibilities and opportunities are endless!

So what are you waiting for? Get your groove and get back on the social scene. Being a single parent is not a curse, nor should it deprive you from enjoying life. You never know, love could be just around the corner.

Despite the absence of a partner, single parents are not alone in the challenging task of rearing their kids. The government is there and very much willing to help.

The US government offers financial support for single parents who have proven themselves unable to provide enough care for their children. The law acknowledges that single parents face responsibilities that are much more complicated than families with two parents, hence the provision for financial assistance. This way, the government takes part in reducing the pressures and hardships single parents face every single day.

All single parents qualify for government assistance, particularly those who are in dire need of financial help. To apply for aid, the single parent must first secure and fill up a form from the city hall. Information sought on the forms should be honestly and completely filled out because these will determine his or her eligibility for the assistance being offered.

Yes, while all single parents are eligible for government help, there still are certain guidelines that need to be fulfilled to protect the fund from unscrupulous people. Also, keep in mind that financial assistance will only be given to those single parents who truly need them, and not to those who earn hefty salaries.

Single parents that may avail of government financial help are those that have been divorced, or if the other parent is either handicapped, seriously injured, or deceased.

In addition, it also applies to those single-parent families where the other parent has abandoned them for about a year. The time frame is given, because, under law, it is only until then that abandonment can be officially and legally claimed.

If the other parent is imprisoned, the custodial parent may also apply for government support. It can also cover those whose children had been born out of marriage, or if the other parent has not been identified.

The following single parent situations will exclude the applicant from obtaining government sponsored financial assistance:

- if the child is being supported by the single parent’s partner

- if the single parents is already receiving pensions for his or her disability or for other reasons

- if the child is being cared for by foster parents

- if the child is waiting to claim an inheritance from one or both of his or her parents

However, even if the governement offers assistance, single parents should not simply rely on these to care for their kids. As a single parent, you must be responsible and resilient enough to seek ways to finance your and your child’s well being without having to apply for help. Go get a job, who cares if it’s temporary? The important thing is you’re exercising all the effort and energy to provide the best you can for your child.