Parenting Your Teenager
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Perhaps one of the most rewarding and challenging stages in the journey of parenting is parenting teenagers. At this point in the adventure that began years ago, you begin to see your child blossom into adolescence. An important psychological stage of development for your son or daughter because this is when identity formation takes place. Providing there has been no trauma or physiological reasons that would interfere with this stage.
Parenting teenagers allow you as a mother or father to begin giving your child some additional freedom in his or her decision making processes as opposed to the total control required when your child was a baby and the slight independence you allowed your toddler, preschooler and pre-teenager. For example, when you might have asked your child, “Which outfit, the green or the blue?” or “Do you want scrambled eggs or oatmeal for breakfast?” and then later, “Do you think you would prefer violin or piano lessons?” or “Would you rather study French or Spanish, Yoga or Karate?” All these earlier opportunities for decision making has prepared both you and your teen for this stage of your lives.
Parenting teenagers is more than just the gradual process of letting go. It is a time to support your teen and encourage the development of his or her own ideas about life and the world we live in. Your example and guidance in the formative years has set the stage for parenting your teenager. The most important aspect of parenting your teenager is open communication. This is vital, but can also be challenging.
Parenting your teenager positively means not being judgmental of the choices she makes. Not being critical of the style of clothing and hair she chooses and being willing to accept the friends she includes in her life, providing none of these choices are potentially harmful. If you taught your child when she was younger the skills for making good choices and developed trust so she will share her life with you, then parenting your teenager will be very rewarding. Because now you will be able to watch her make good choices and enjoy the benefits of those choices.
Helping your child set goals is also an important aspect of parenting your teenager. This skill will help when your teen is ready to move from high school to work or college. Although it is universal when parenting your teenager or your child at any age, every parent wants to protect their child from hurt or harm. Unfortunately, as we all know from our own teenage experiences, sometimes mistakes are made and painful consequences occur. So, when parenting your teenager, be prepared to encourage and support her in times of crisis.
If trust and good communication has been built, together you can get through the hardest times and together you can celebrate the best times. Remember, even though parenting your teenager may seem to be a scary time, it can also be a time to relish as your teen moves closer and closer to independence.
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